Acceptance of what is there can gives us choices - aversion can create tension and negativity

The great Sufi poet expresses this in his poem 'The Guest House'. Notice what feeling arises in you when you read it - is it positive, negative or neutral? Do you feel accepting of this idea of 'acceptance' or do you feel an aversion to it as if it is something that you should reject?

'The Guest House'

 This being human is a guest house. 
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite
them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jalaluddin Rumi, in 'The Essential Rumi', translated by Coleman Barks, 1999

This concept is quite alien to most of us. Why would you 'invite in' any negativity into your life?

The challenge for us all is that negativity is there whether we like it or not - and so, it isn't about trying to magically make negativity disappear - which - let's face it - we sadly don't have the power to do - instead it is about choosing what to do next when that negativity is there. In order to choose - to really make an active choice - we have to accept that it is there - whether it comes from within us or from the outside. This act of 'accepting that it is there' can be scary and unfamiliar but it can also be very powerful. We see it for what it is. We gain more insight into where it comes from. We see the effect it has on us.

Once we accept that it is there - by acknowledging it and observing it - choices open up to us.

What choices are there if we reject the negativity - denial? masking over it? pushing it deeper inside of us so that it doesn't rear its ugly head but comes back to torture us later?

I'll take my chances with 'acceptance' first.

A new tact for encouraging things to go the way you want in life

"A traveller to a small Greek island once watched as a yound boy tried to perusade the family donkey to move. The boy had vegetables to deliver and he'd carefully loaded up the animals's panniers. But the donkey wasn't in the mood for moving. The boy became more and more agitated and started to raise his voice at the donkey, standing in front of him and pulling hard on the rope. The donkey dug in its hooves firmly. Very firmly.

The tug of war might have gone on for a long time if it wasn't for the boy's grandfather. Hearing the commotion, he came out of the hourse and took in the familiar scene at a glance - the unequal battle between donkey and human. Gently, he took the rope from his grandson. Smiling, he said, 'When he's in this mood, try it this way: take the rope loosely in your hand like this, then stand very close beside him, and look down the track in the direction you want to go. Then wait.'

The boy did as his grandfather had bade him, and after a few moments, the donkey started to walk forward. The boy giggled with delight, and the traveller watched as animal and boy trotted off happily, side by side, down the track and round the far bend."

Pg 111-2 Mark Williams, Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World

A lesson in Acceptance for a Wildlife Photography Enthusiast

Khao Yai National Park in Thailand is host to gibbons, deer, elephants, scorpions and a host of birds. Off we set, 8 of us on an adventure, with cameras at the ready. This was my favourite thing to do. Wildlife park, animals, guide and camera. Always the highlight of my trips. I could spend hours editing wildlife shots and making albums. The day before we had been treated with 45 minutes of millions of bats leaving a cave to hunt. A sight which I took several videos of to show friends back home. I was in my element.

After 15 minutes in the truck, the noise of the forest was thick with gibbons calling to each other. Down off the truck we climbed and started clamouring through the jungle for a glimpse of these loud tree jumpers.

Quickly our guide pointed up to several gibbons and out came the cameras.

And on came 'battery low' light.

'You've got to be kidding' - I thought in disbelief. 'How could I not have a full battery?'.

And on and on went my mind, yo-yo-ing between 'it can't be' and 'what an idiot', replaying how it had happened (all those videos of bats), all the things I should have done, thoughts about how this would change the whole day. I was annoyed with myself. Disappointed. Disheartened. After just a few shots, camera went dead.

What struck me after about 15 mins of unrelenting, incessant thoughts of this nature, was how hard it was to accept the reality I was in. Even though I shrugged it off, and said 'oh well, never mind' to myself (a few times) my mind would not let it go. After a brief pause of not thinking about it, back the thoughts would come. I even tried the strategy of saying to myself 'imagine this is your last day alive'...but that just produced more thoughts.

Acceptance is hard! It is frustrating for things not to go the way we think they should. And when they don't, we resist until we eventually let it go which can often take some time.

Being a mindfulness enthusiast, I decided to put all of theory I was reading about into practice. What a 'great' opportunity this was to practice acceptance - a simple word, that's slippery by nature.

I focused on the present. My feet crunching the forest floor. The small insects I could see everywhere. The screeching sound of the gibbons. The smell of the forest. The feel of occasional cool air. There is nothing like taking to the senses - our most direct way of experiencing the present moment to help us accept. I didn't try and change my thinking but just shifted my awareness to where I was physically and when the thoughts came, I shifted my mind to the sights, smells, sounds. It took several rounds of coming back to my senses but gradually, the thoughts that had been resisting the way things were subsided. I could literally feel my body getting loser, less tense as I focused on being right where I was. In this moment, with no camera.

Things often don't go our way. But one thing is for sure, resisting or denying our reality - for sure - does not lead to contentment or happiness. Trying to recreate the past in our minds to make things turn out differently often means we miss out on what is actually happening in the present.

In the end, we saw very little wildlife after those first glimpses of gibbons. But I stepped, smelt, inspected and felt that forest. It was an experience that was better than any photo! Though I have learnt a lesson to check the battery before wildlife trips!

One of few photos - not of the standard I set myself!