One of my biggest fears: dying having never really lived

Fearing death is understandable. Not many people talk about it lightly and it feels weird to think about not being here one day. However, a bigger fear for me is dying feeling that I didn't live my life fully. The Dalai Lama says that the thing that surprised him most about humanity was man ,

"Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present: the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die and then dies having never really lived." 

Now that is a scary thought! That freaks me out much more than the idea of dying itself!

So what does it mean to live you life fully? I read something (which annoyingly I can't find the reference for) that if we only spend a couple of hours everyday actually being 'in the present moment' instead of thinking about the past or the future, or being on autopilot and not really engaging fully in what we are doing then this means that we actually only have about 6 years left of being really present. That doesn't sound like very long to me!!

There isn't anything wrong with being on autopilot sometimes, or thinking about the past or the future. That is a mis-understanding of what being 'mindful is'. What is helpful is to be more aware of these things and make more choices about when we want to be in these states. There are some activities in life which people are drawn to because they connect us with the present moment - sky diving (for damn sure you won't be day dreaming during that experience!), racing a fast car or other adventure sports, eating something you love, taking drugs. People are often drawn to these experiences because they are fresh, exciting, they make us feel really alive. It is this quality of 'feeling really alive' that mindfulness helps us bring to more of our lives. Why not have that connection to the present everyday from more 'regular' activities. Having a really nice shower and feeling the warm water on our skin instead of our mind moving forward to conversation that you will have with your colleagues about the programme you watched last night. Or eating your breakfast and tasting more than the first two mouthfuls before your mind wanders off to what time it is and all the things you have to do before leaving the house. There is a lot we can experience in an average day and perhaps being more aware, connecting more with each of those things - might just add some more years on to how much of life we really live.

For a little exercise on connecting more or being more aware of an experience - there is a post on the 'raisin exercise' (see blog topics on the right of this blog).