What else are we missing?

"It is easy not to spot the the small changes because you already know what to expect. Did you spot the second 'the' in the previous sentence?" (Teaching Mindfulness)

Most of us are well versed in the key to communication being listening and we talk about it in courses on management and relationship building. What we don't necessarily talk about is the way our minds work and the effect they have on our ability to be fully present and aware. Our minds often make judgements about what is being said which can lead to an internal dialogue. They tend to move into the future - thinking about what to say next or move into the past, thinking about what was said before and not what is being said now.

The act of listening is also an act of quietening our own minds - lessening the internal chatter and making space for whatever is being communicated to us - verbally and non-verbally. From this, we widen our understanding of the other person, we gain new insight into what they are communicating - picking up on subtleties, and we can respond more spontaneously.

This takes practice and the first step is perhaps just noticing the judgements as they arise and/or noticing whether we are drifting into thoughts about the future or past as someone speaks. Once we have, we can then tune into what is actually being said and spot the difference.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/catnipcat/7157542418/">Catnip Cat by Jeff Hoyle</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>