'I can't meditate!' Thank god! That's where all the Learning is!

When people who don't meditate talk about trying to meditate - the most common thing I hear is - 'I tried meditating but I can't do it. My mind is all over the place. I can't stop thinking.'

That's what I used to say too. Ironically - THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT! Little did I know that that was what was meant to happen and that all of the learning comes from that very experience. The fact that the mind jumps around like a monkey is one of the reasons for meditating. Not to stop it initally - but just to notice that that is what the mind does.

At some point you will notice again and 'wake up'. And then it may wander off again. At some point, you will notice and 'wake up'. And on, and on. The thing is - you do wake up. At some point in trying to meditate - there are moments of awareness. And this is all that you need to experience at the beginning. You 'woke up' and realised that your mind had gone off and you weren't 'here'. That's a pretty cool start to meditating.

The problem is - people think that they are meant to sit there and be fully present the whole time they are sitting, without their mind going anywhere. And they judge themselves as having 'failed' if they don't/can't do that. In fact, noticing/being aware of the nature of the mind is one of the main reasons to meditate. While meditating we can begin to notice or be aware of the types of thoughts that come to our mind - perhaps about the past or about the future. We can begin to realise how our thoughts jump from one thing to the next. We can see how much we judge ourselves (for example, thinking 'I can't meditate - my mind is going everywhere' - is a judgement, and our minds judge quite a lot!).

So next time you try and meditate - don't expect to 'achieve' anything more than focusing on the breath and congratulating yourself every time you notice that your mind wandered rather than punishing yourself every time that it does. Perhaps acknowledge the thoughts that distracted you from breathing - recognising whether they were about future, past, judgements etc and then go back to focusing on the breath.

It might not feel relaxing - but contrary to popular belief, the point of meditation is not to get relaxed either. The point to meditation is to BE and accept whatever comes (including accepting the nature of our monkey minds). Perhaps you can meditate after all - congratulations!

If you are interested in reading more about mindfulness and meditation and the point of it all then perhaps go to the 'Are you new to mindfulness' page.