When we don't want to do something at work - our tendency may be to do it quickly and pay as little attention as possible, or to do two things at once to tolerate doing the one thing we don't want to do.
Dr Stephen McKenzie challenges this saying that focusing more on what we are doing and only doing that one thing - even if we don't like - can help us to feel more connected to it, see new things we didn't before and we may even enjoy it. You might feel ready to 'gag' at this and dismiss this as wishy washy psychobabble but what if I change the situation and turned it into us needing to do something with a child that we didn't want to do, or with our partner - it's the same principle.
Let's return to the work situation and take an example of making a phone call we don't want to make. Personally, I usually delay it as long as possible and sometimes, it drops off the list for a few days (usually making the situation worse, and me dread it more!). Sometimes I have to say hard things, and potentially then hear hard things or I know that a call will sometimes lead to a load of work for me to do which I don't feel like or don't enjoy doing. If only work was filled with just the things I like doing!
The point Dr McKenzie makes, which is made by all mindfulness teachers, is that actually deciding to give something 100% of your pay attention can change the experience. Imagine you dial the number and you start thinking - 'I don't want to be doing this', 'don't answer', 'this is going to create me so much work' etc. Your thoughts start jumping from one negative statement to the next. You start checking other emails while dialling to distract you from these negative thoughts. The phone answers. You rush through what you have to say and then dreading the response, you don't fully listen and the whole experience feels stressful. They are bound to have picked up on this too.
What is the alternative? One option would be to commit to just doing that task. Pick up the phone and dial. As negative thoughts come into your head as they are bound to - you just observe that they are there and draw your attention back to the fingers dialling the number (i.e. don't get on that train). You hear it ring. You listen to it ring. You feel the pen in your hand as you prepare to take notes. Your mind wanders to negative thoughts and you bring your mind back to the sound of the dial tone. The person answers. You speak - without rushing - just saying what you inevitably have to say. You then listen to each word the person says back to you. You may hear things that you don't want to hear but you also may hear things you didn't realise before, you may sense something in their tone, you may find ideas, thoughts, conclusions come to you which hadn't come to you before. Either way, the way you approached the call can shift the whole experience. And paying more attention can be better overall than paying less.
Mindfulness isn't anything extraordinary - it's just showing up, paying attention, acknowledging how our minds work and making a choice of whether to focus on their sometimes unhelpful trains of thought or whether to pay attention to other things happening in that moment like the touch of something, the sound, the message someone is trying to get across, the way our body is reacting etc.
Sometimes it feels like 'I don't like to do this and I'm not going to enjoy it and that's just the way it is' but believe it or not there are some choices here - we might not look forward to something but we can more pay attention to thing itself than to our minds telling us that we don't like it or suggesting ways to 'avoid' it - and that might change the way we experience it - it might even take the edge off it or surprise us. Given the alternative, isn't it worth a shot?
For the article follow this link:
http://m.afr.com/p/national/work_space/how_being_mindful_makes_for_happier_PDnauj8loTfGFp6J1c1BNK
Dr Stephen McKenzie challenges this saying that focusing more on what we are doing and only doing that one thing - even if we don't like - can help us to feel more connected to it, see new things we didn't before and we may even enjoy it. You might feel ready to 'gag' at this and dismiss this as wishy washy psychobabble but what if I change the situation and turned it into us needing to do something with a child that we didn't want to do, or with our partner - it's the same principle.
Let's return to the work situation and take an example of making a phone call we don't want to make. Personally, I usually delay it as long as possible and sometimes, it drops off the list for a few days (usually making the situation worse, and me dread it more!). Sometimes I have to say hard things, and potentially then hear hard things or I know that a call will sometimes lead to a load of work for me to do which I don't feel like or don't enjoy doing. If only work was filled with just the things I like doing!
The point Dr McKenzie makes, which is made by all mindfulness teachers, is that actually deciding to give something 100% of your pay attention can change the experience. Imagine you dial the number and you start thinking - 'I don't want to be doing this', 'don't answer', 'this is going to create me so much work' etc. Your thoughts start jumping from one negative statement to the next. You start checking other emails while dialling to distract you from these negative thoughts. The phone answers. You rush through what you have to say and then dreading the response, you don't fully listen and the whole experience feels stressful. They are bound to have picked up on this too.
What is the alternative? One option would be to commit to just doing that task. Pick up the phone and dial. As negative thoughts come into your head as they are bound to - you just observe that they are there and draw your attention back to the fingers dialling the number (i.e. don't get on that train). You hear it ring. You listen to it ring. You feel the pen in your hand as you prepare to take notes. Your mind wanders to negative thoughts and you bring your mind back to the sound of the dial tone. The person answers. You speak - without rushing - just saying what you inevitably have to say. You then listen to each word the person says back to you. You may hear things that you don't want to hear but you also may hear things you didn't realise before, you may sense something in their tone, you may find ideas, thoughts, conclusions come to you which hadn't come to you before. Either way, the way you approached the call can shift the whole experience. And paying more attention can be better overall than paying less.
Mindfulness isn't anything extraordinary - it's just showing up, paying attention, acknowledging how our minds work and making a choice of whether to focus on their sometimes unhelpful trains of thought or whether to pay attention to other things happening in that moment like the touch of something, the sound, the message someone is trying to get across, the way our body is reacting etc.
Sometimes it feels like 'I don't like to do this and I'm not going to enjoy it and that's just the way it is' but believe it or not there are some choices here - we might not look forward to something but we can more pay attention to thing itself than to our minds telling us that we don't like it or suggesting ways to 'avoid' it - and that might change the way we experience it - it might even take the edge off it or surprise us. Given the alternative, isn't it worth a shot?
For the article follow this link:
http://m.afr.com/p/national/work_space/how_being_mindful_makes_for_happier_PDnauj8loTfGFp6J1c1BNK
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