The great Sufi poet expresses this in his poem 'The Guest House'. Notice what feeling arises in you when you read it - is it positive, negative or neutral? Do you feel accepting of this idea of 'acceptance' or do you feel an aversion to it as if it is something that you should reject?
'The Guest House'
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite
them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Jalaluddin Rumi, in 'The Essential Rumi', translated by Coleman Barks, 1999
This concept is quite alien to most of us. Why would you 'invite in' any negativity into your life?
The challenge for us all is that negativity is there whether we like it or not - and so, it isn't about trying to magically make negativity disappear - which - let's face it - we sadly don't have the power to do - instead it is about choosing what to do next when that negativity is there. In order to choose - to really make an active choice - we have to accept that it is there - whether it comes from within us or from the outside. This act of 'accepting that it is there' can be scary and unfamiliar but it can also be very powerful. We see it for what it is. We gain more insight into where it comes from. We see the effect it has on us.
Once we accept that it is there - by acknowledging it and observing it - choices open up to us.
What choices are there if we reject the negativity - denial? masking over it? pushing it deeper inside of us so that it doesn't rear its ugly head but comes back to torture us later?
I'll take my chances with 'acceptance' first.
'The Guest House'
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite
them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Jalaluddin Rumi, in 'The Essential Rumi', translated by Coleman Barks, 1999
This concept is quite alien to most of us. Why would you 'invite in' any negativity into your life?
The challenge for us all is that negativity is there whether we like it or not - and so, it isn't about trying to magically make negativity disappear - which - let's face it - we sadly don't have the power to do - instead it is about choosing what to do next when that negativity is there. In order to choose - to really make an active choice - we have to accept that it is there - whether it comes from within us or from the outside. This act of 'accepting that it is there' can be scary and unfamiliar but it can also be very powerful. We see it for what it is. We gain more insight into where it comes from. We see the effect it has on us.
Once we accept that it is there - by acknowledging it and observing it - choices open up to us.
What choices are there if we reject the negativity - denial? masking over it? pushing it deeper inside of us so that it doesn't rear its ugly head but comes back to torture us later?
I'll take my chances with 'acceptance' first.
I find this very passive. Of course there is accepting and being at peace with difficult circumstances but there are causes of negativity / other people that can be addressed head-on. Simply 'taking' bullying or hurtful behaviour for example, might not always help to sow the seeds of change.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amita and this view is often considered by people to be passive, however, the fuller meaner of 'acceptance' is quite different and not passive at all. It is more like accepting that - whilst you may not be happy about it - the pot in front of you (because it is). You can change the colour if you want but the point is - it is better to acknowledge the colour it is starting out as. So it is not about not acting - it is about observing what is happening e.g. a negative situation, seeing it for what it is, and also seeing how you are reacting inside to that - are you feeling angry, frustrated etc - being aware of all of that - accepting that this is what is happening in that moment - and then from that awareness - ACTING in the appropriate way which might be to address it head on. When we deny that hurt behaviour is happening towards us or refuse to acknowledge it - we just repress our feelings, and don't act in a very construction way. But that doesn't change the truth of the situation. Once you accept the situation is the way it is, you can then make a decision about how to move forward. So the idea of acceptance is that you address things more honestly, more fully, and with more insight. In our culture, think of 'acceptance' often as 'agreement that something can stay the way it is' but that is not the type of acceptance that I am talking about here which more 'moment to moment'. I hope that clarifies the idea here.
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